2022: The Year of Intention

 In 2019, I picked a word for the year. However, while I believed it to be a neat concept, I didn't truly embrace the idea of letting that word help set the tone for those 365 days. So, with 2022 right around the corner, I've decided to give it another go, whole-heartedly this time. 

As for the word? 

You can see the definition of intentional above. That's how I'm choosing to live out the next year, in all aspects of life. 

Intentional in relationships: Date nights with Jacob. One on one time with Tristan and Brynlee. Family game nights. Girl's nights. Dinner with family. Impromptu late nights with friends. Being present in togetherness, no matter who it's with. 

Physically intentional: Setting a weekly workout goal and a daily step goal. Making better food choices. Taking the stairs. Letting go of my idea of a perfect body image. 

Intentional in self-care: Taking time to do things that fuel my spirit. Writing. Losing myself in a good book. Sleeping in. Limiting social media. 

Intentional living: Traveling. Taking more pictures. Saying both yes and no to busy schedules and truly embracing it. Spontaneous adventure. Kitchen karaoke sessions. 

Spiritual intention: Daily devotions. Prayer. Gratitude. Exploration of faith.  

What about you? Do you have a word for 2022? 

Xo, 

Jess 

Girl, sweet girl.

I started writing as a kid and while I've moved on to the occasional blog post, poems were where it truly began. 

Words were tumbling around in my head today, so I put pen to paper. It was refreshing, like coffee over conversation with an old friend. 

Listen to the rain as it falls, 

the thunder as it rumbles across the sky. 

Breathe it in and let it sit, 

as the tears fall from your eyes. 

And then, 

chin up sweet girl. 

Don't let it win. 

You write and narrate your own story, 

it was never about them. 

Take a look at what's in front of you, 

as miniscule as the moments may seem, 

push out the darkness, 

allow the sunlight to gleam.

Stand in your own corner and be your own fan. 

Sweet girl, 

believe me when I say you can. 

You can do hard things. 

And while you may not feel it in the moment, I promise you one day,

you'll be standing on the mountaintop,

looking down on from where you came, 

and you'll laugh. 

Maniacally so. 

For in that moment you'll realize that you've overcome all you ever believed to stand in your way. 

It may not have always been pretty, 

it may have broken you a time or two,

but girl, sweet girl, 

you made it through.

Girl, Give Yourself a Breather & Take It In

 I laughed today. Man, did I laugh today. 

It all began at Walmart. Yeah that's right, Walmart. Jacob and I headed off to the good ole Wally World after work today to get our shopping for this weekend taken care of. Mandey, my BFF, was also there, as we'd collaboratively made a list of things we would need for our long weekend at the lake and hatched a plan to get it packed up this evening so that remainder of the week could be smooth sailing for all of us (lawdy, I hope I didn't jinx us all by making that prediction). 

If any of you have seen the three of us together than you can agree that we're quite the trio and always up to some sort of shenanigans. In no time, we were up to our normal antics. Heading toward the pet department, Mandey and I (mainly I), were quickly derailed at the summer aisle. After all, you never know what you might need for a weekend at the lake. After perusing the aisle and picking up a $3 pack of temporary tattoos for the kids, we headed back in our original direction to find Jacob, only to find him already headed back our way. As we turned in the middle of the aisle to head back the other direction, Jacob quickly took the lead ahead of us and was hustling to the other side of the store. Challenge accepted. As I watched my husband and my best friend compete for the lead, no doubt pulling out silly tactics to knock the other one out along the way, I started laughing. And when I say laughing, I mean full on giggles. You'd be pleased to know that these shenanigans continued for the entirety of the trip ; Jacob racing ahead to check items off the list and us forgetting something, or getting sidetracked by a shiny object. 

We made our way to the checkout line and fear not, shenanigans again ensued. On Jacob and I's list was a plethora of produce, so Mandey was done checking out well before us, leading her to begin to pull items from my cart at lightening speed. The woman working the self checkout lines began to laugh and said, "I didn't know that how things worked." My response, "It's our MO. If you only knew."

We all got back to the house and unloaded our weekend supplies. After chatting for awhile, we all decided it was time for dinner and went our separate ways. 

After an hour long shopping trip, neither Chef Boyardee or myself were motivated to find or prepare dinner, so we left it up to the kid's to decide on what they'd like. After a short debate, KFC was crowned the winner and we drove through the drive-thru for their famous family feast. 

Sitting at the table, Bryn quickly made her way through her mashed potatoes and moved on to her chicken wing. However, before eating it, she asked the chicken to forgive her for what she was about to do. That's right y'all, my seven year old asked her crispy chicken to forgive her. She didn't want it to feel hurt by her tearing off it's crispy, fried skin. Tristan then responds, "you know it's dead...right?" HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER. Our conversation continued, with Tristan explaining to his sister that chickens continue to run around, even after their heads are removed from their body. Jacob also jumped right in, making a gaggle of dad jokes which revolved around chicken. 

Y'all, I couldn't make this up if I tried. The four of us were laughing so hard that we cried, completed with tears running down our face and the ever hilarious snorting. Good grief, my sides hurt. I feel like I've run a marathon, complete with an ab workout. But I'd be lying if I said tonight wasn't exactly what I needed. 

You see, this year has been a tough one for me, mentally. There were times I missed out on what was right in front of me because I was too full of anxiety or anger. But tonight, I feel so much lighter. 

The bills, the stress, the chaos? In some shape or form, they're always going to be there. Time on the other hand? You won't get it back. So take it and treasure it. Live it up. Soak it in. 

Indulge in laughter. As I did just that tonight, I realized that the laugh I give Tristan such a hard time for, it's an extension of me. Our high pitched shrill when we are tickled pink may be loud but it's also contagious. 

Set your alarm for 4:50am and meet your friends at the track on the other side of town, no matter how much you want to hit your snooze button. Get your steps in, take some time for you. 

Listen to your husband snoring in the bedroom off the kitchen, where you're currently writing your blog and instead of being annoyed, be grateful for the partner you have in him, a hard worker and a man who loves with everything he has. 

Let your seven year old daughter climb into your bed to fall asleep. And when she's thrashing around, pull her close and take in her scent. She won't be little forever Momma, hang on to it while you can. 

The laundry can sit another day. That email can wait for a response. The cleaning can be done tomorrow. And the weight you're carrying around, feeling like you're not good enough or put together enough, or accomplishing enough? Let it go. 

Girl, give yourself a breather, take it in and recharge.

This One's for the Girls

This one is dedicated to my ladies, without whom I wouldn't survive most days. 

I read a quote earlier which read, "the only rose without thorns is friendship." My immediate thoughts? What a load of crap. 

Deep, real friendships? They require work. They require forgiveness. They require sacrifice. And while I've had a friend who has stood by my side the last 16 years, it's only been within the last 5 or 6 that I've truly found a group of ladies that I feel like I'll continue to laugh and learn with for many years to come.

Mandey's been one of my best friends since high school and out of all my friends, is the one I've been through the most $h!t with. We've both stood together on mountaintops and trudged through the trenches, our friendship now stronger because of it.

Kayla came into my life unexpectedly, while on a date with one of my best guy friends. From that, an unexpected friendship blossomed. In the 6 years we've know one another, we've stood side by side through triumph and tragedy. 

Tricia (and her husband Derek) went to school with my husband. When they moved into our neighborhood 5 years ago, our lives quickly intertwined and  an incredible friendship began to grow. She's the gal I can always count on for an impromptu karaoke session and man, can she sing!

Lisa and I have crossed paths several times in our lives. From working in the same building (her at the bank and me at Subway) to our kids growing up together, it's been shared friendships and the last few years that have truly brought us together. 

Ashley first came into my life as a friend of a friend and I'll be honest, I didn't know how to read her at first. But now, I'm grateful for the work we've both put in to get where we are today. And while I know I'm from the South, I swear this girl was too in a past life! She's sassy and I love it!

We're loud. We act crazy together. For example, a recent excursion to a Wichita Target which if witnessed on any security footage will have people thinking "she gone" when in all actuality, not a drop of alcohol had been consumed that day. 

We laugh, A LOT. Nothing compares to the stomachache I get after laughing with them. We have inside jokes; hey Mandey - remember that time we planted an already dead plant just so we didn't dispose of it in front of Jacob? 

We converse almost daily, and across several platforms, about anything and everything. We talk about rough days at work and workout plans. We talk about books and movies and TV shows, about future plans and vacation. We're also all very strong willed and independent, which can mean that our opinions are not always the same. And yet, this often leads to deeper conversations and changing perspectives. 

We've cried together, multiple times. Because....life. We can be honest with each other when we're struggling. 

Our friendship doesn't pressure. It's an open invitation to be authentically you, whatever that may look like.  We know each other's weakness, and strive to focus to each other's strengths. 

Our friendship isn't made up of a bunch of big things, but more so, a bunch of little ones. It's full of: 

• text conversations constructed of only GIFs 
• porch beers on random nights
• play dates 
• a girls night in complete with adult lunchables, wine and laughter (or watching Steel Magnolias because a certain person, AHEM..Kayla, hadn't seen it yet)
• cheering each other on in whatever things we are doing

Let's face it, with everything going on in the world today, we need each other, even on days we don't want to admit it. 

And whether or not we want to admit it, we're not perfect, not a single one of us. We've hurt each other's feelings a time or two. We've called each other on our crap. In the moment it may have burned and felt raw, but it's also lead us down a path of understanding. It's allowed us to grow, to strengthen our bond. 

These ladies have taught me that we don't need to try so hard. We don't always have to look put together or have our ducks in a row. Let's face it, my ducks are almost indefinitely NOT in a row. They've helped me to find the balance between being there for others but knowing that I also need to show up for myself. 

Choose the friends who are choosing you. Love the friends that love you. And tell them, shout it from the damn rooftop. Because fierce lady friendships, they're hard to beat. 

Another beautiful thing? There's always room for more, in both our horseshoe (because as Glennon Doyle says, "leave space, always leave space") and our hearts.