Holy cannoli, how is it already January?!?! Seriously, I feel like I was just counting down to Thanksgiving & Christmas and now BOOM, they've come and gone.
Oh January.... month of "new year, new me" and new beginnings. Please don't take the previous sentence as judgment or make you feel shameful for that way of thinking. Trust me, I've been there time and time again. However, this year, instead of thinking "new year, new me," I've decided to take a different approach - "new year, same girl, forever a work in progress."
You see the thing is, on the whole, I like who I am. Are there areas for improvement? Absolutely.
For 2019, instead of choosing one specific goal to focus on, I chose a broad one. For 2019, I picked a word, one single word, which I hope will define the next 365 days.
That word?
Merriam-Webster defines courage as mental or moral strength to venture, persevere and withstand danger, fear or difficulty. Or in simple terms, courage is the ability to do something that frightens you.
In 2019, I seek to find the courage to make changes for my physical health. And while I have made this a goal before, I want to really push myself to make this change a lasting one. Yes, I want to lose some weight but this goal is so much more than that. I want to feel better. I want to ensure that I am capable of running around with my kids. I want to be able to explore without feeling like my physical health is holding me back. I want to feel better about how I look, for myself more than anyone else.
I seek the courage to practice self-care. A friend gifted me the book "Girl, Wash Your Face" by Rachel Hollis. There are people who are torn over this book and it's message, but I'm going to be honest with you, this book has been everything I've needed to hear. In one of her earlier chapters, I came across the following:
"I reordered my list. When I ask most women to name the things on their priority list, they can throw them out there no problem: kids, partner, work, faith, etc. The order may change, but the bullet points rarely do. You know what also rarely changes no matter how many women I talk to? Women actually putting themselves on their own priority list. You should be the very first of your priorities! Are you getting enough sleep, enough water, the right nutrition? You cannot take care of others well if you're not taking care of yourself."
There it is folks. For me, I know I operate better when I'm making sure to take time for myself but like many, I often feel guilty for doing so. How can I take an hour to sit in the tub when I know that there is a pile of laundry that needs put away? How can I sit down and watch a movie when I know the house needs clean? Here's the problem: too often I miss out because I busy myself with tasks that in all honesty can wait. That hour long bath may have allowed my mind to clear so that I wasn't so short with my kids when they didn't do what I asked. That two hour movie may have been my only opportunity to snuggle with my husband and kids for the next couple of days due to our schedule. Here's to making a more solid effort : take the bath, read the book, go to coffee with a friend. I'm not saying it's going to happen right away, I'm not saying that there won't be times I fail, but whatever it takes to keep you in line, do it. We'll be a better version of ourselves because of it.
I seek the courage to reconnect with my faith. Growing up, we went to church as a family. And as I got older, even on the days when schedules may put my parents out of town for a sporting event, I often went on my own, taking the bus when needed and then driving myself after I got my license. But then, as life went on, I got in the way of my faith. How you ask? I got older. I got more involved in the social scene. I started dating. I began working. I was going to school. I became a mother. I got married. All of these things (all wonderful and great) became the front runner and attending church fell on the back burner. Then, about 5 years ago, Jacob I began to occasionally attend church with his sister and her husband in Lenexa. I loved our experience there. Every Sunday we left, I felt rejuvenated. The sermon was always spoken in a way that I could apply to my own life and life experiences. And yet again, I got in my own way, I allowed life to get in my way. Flash forward to 2019: I haven't been to church in over two years. If I'm being honest, the last time I went was when a friend and I decided to visit a local church (husband, kids and my Grandma in tow) for their local Christmas program. I'd be lying if I said that some of my past church experiences haven't jaded me. But then again, I can't use that as my excuse to not jump back on the horse (so if you're reading this and have a church suggestion, throw one my way)! I recently purchased a 100 day devotional titled "100 Days to Brave" (it actually just showed up in my mailbox today). I flipped through it on my way to work after lunch and found that every devotional is ended with a challenge, the first one being, "tell one person (a friend, a spouse, a coworker, a mentor) that you have begun this 100 day journey towards a braver life." So I chose to tell you, my readers.
I seek the courage to date my husband again. Some of you are probably thinking "what?" But I'm being completely serious. Jacob and I have been together since we were 16, almost 14 years, almost half of our lives. We've grown together. We've taken on life together. We're parents, working adults, friends. And while I love each and every one of those titles, I know that because of who we are, we often put those titles in front of ourselves, in front of one another. So this year, I'm challenging us to bring back date night, starting with one night a month. Date nights don't have to be extravagant. Heck, take me to Sonic for a mango cherry limeade and some extreme tots and you've got a happy girl on your hands. Thankfully, my husband is the same way. For us, date night isn't about what we're doing, it's about the fact that whatever we're doing, we're doing it together.
And along with some of my bigger goals, comes some smaller ones, yet they are still as significant.
I seek the courage to be more understanding; the courage to emphasize more and judge less.
I seek the courage to explore ; to visit new places and truly allow myself to embrace them.
I seek the courage to try new things, whether it be new foods or a new hobby.
I seek the courage to live in the moment ; to forget about the dishes in the sink or the honey-dos & allow myself to breathe.
I seek the courage to let go of things I cannot change.
I seek the courage for personal growth.
What's your word?
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