Southern State of Mind

Last January, my husband decided he wanted to go to Kansas City and "look" at motorcycles. In his defense, I don't think either one of us thought we'd actually be leaving with a bike that day but...we did. Before we left the dealership that day, we were taken in to finalize the sale and while talking to the gentleman who was working with us, one of the two of us called him "sir." His reply. "Don't call me sir, that's my father." At the time, I didn't think anything of it. But then, when it happened again and he had the same reply, I found myself getting a little flustered. See, where I'm from, I was taught that calling a man or woman sir or ma'am is a sign of respect, not a sign of age. 

Southern state of mind.

My family and I recently took a trip to Dauphin Island, Alabama for my mom's wedding. We'd all been anxiously counting down the days until we got to load up in the car and go (I'll be honest, I had a running countdown on my phone). Most of my excitement lied in the fact that my mom was going to have her dream wedding on the beach. But it also came from knowing that we were going to a place we'd never visited. 


Dauphin Island, the sunset capital of Alabama, totals 161.7 square miles of which only 6.2 square miles are land. To gain access to Dauphin Island, you must drive three miles along the Dauphin Island Bridge. The view, I can't even describe. It was simply breathtaking. 



The days spent on the island were AMAZING. My mom's Christmas present to all of us was the trip (more specifically the house we stayed in), which was built up from the water and was on it's own private beach. 


We made so many memories that it'd take a week to write of all the things we got to experience. However, my favorite moments (besides my mom's wedding, OF COURSE) came on the last night evening and morning we were on the island.

Knowing that it was our last evening there, Jacob wanted to spend it soaking up the local scene. My brother Michael and his girlfriend Amanda were generous enough to watch the kids for us while we spent a few hours alone. After doing some research, Jacob came across a restaurant, JT's Sunset Grill, which is known for it's good food and amazing views of the sunset. So we loaded up on the bike and paid it a visit. 

Coolest. Place. Ever. 

When we told the waitress that we were interested in sitting on the deck so that we could watch the sunset, she handed us a couple of menus and showed us upstairs. There, we deliberated on what we were going to order (let me just say, I don't think you could make a wrong choice) and I finally decided on a burger and fries while Jacob ordered one of their specials, shrimp alfredo. We also ordered starters, shrimp and fried green tomatoes. After ordering our dinner, we walked into the bar area and ordered drinks. Miller Lite for him and a "Kiss on the Lips" for me, recommended by Bre, a waitress at the restaurant. 

As we waited for our dinner, we sips on our drinks and chatted among ourselves. And took a selfie.. duh! But seriously, who could resist with this view? 



In the midst of our outing, a pair of locals and their daughter came out on the deck and instantly introduced themselves (The Monroes) and talked to us for the rest of our time there. We talked about where they lived on the island (east end versus west end) and come to find out, they lived only about a block over from where we'd been staying all week! In fact, I'd seen their daughter (and her us) multiple times on the beach as she'd walk daily through the bird sanctuary and down the beach. We learned that Mr. Monroe was  former Coast Guard and they'd moved to the island almost 19 years ago. We learned that their daughter was a school teacher in Virginia and planned on moving to the island herself after retiring in a few years. They told us all about the gas rigs that are stationed on the water and how the island was effected when Hurricane Katrina hit. We spoke of life and all it's entirety for the next couple of hours. And when it was time for us to get going, his wife says to us "wish we could have met you sooner, we could of invited you over for some drinks and food." Jacob and I got up from the picnic table which we'd been sitting at and as we walked towards the exit, the most genuine thing happened. The daughter looked at me and said, "Do you mind if I give you a hug?" I smiled immediately and replied "of course not." (I myself am a hugger). That hug was followed by one from both her mother and father. Walking away, I heard her mother said, "What a sweet couple, she (me) has the most contagious laugh and smile I have ever heard and seen." 

The southern state of mind. Not knowing a stranger. Going out of your way to make others feel welcome. 

The next morning, Jacob and I got ourselves out of bed at 5:30am to watch the sunrise. We rode the motorcycle down to the public beach and watched from a bench on a pier over the water. After it had risen, we decided to make our way to the Lighthouse Bakery. I'd seen great reviews on the bakery and the Monroes had raved about it to us the night before. We figured we'd better get in on it before it was too late. And I'm glad we did. 

The bakery resides in a house which they converted. It has the kitchen area (where all the deliciousness is made) and a sitting area for those who choose to dine in. The lady that greeted us made sure to fill us in on all they had to offer and then asked where we were from. I'll tell you what, when we told her that we had traveled from Emporia, KS, I sure did not expect her to say, "Emporia? I've been there! I traveled to the Teacher's College in the 80's to attend a conference." Small world. 

Homemade baked goods, a house latte and conversation all before 6:30 am? Southern state of mind. And p.s. their homemade pecan cinnamon rolls were the real deal. 

Not that I think anyone is ever ready to leave the beach, but those last two happenings on Dauphin Island had me ready to pack my bags and head south, permanently. 

I was born in North Carolina and moved to Kansas when I was three years old. After 2000, we traveled back to Carolina at least once a year to visit my Grandma. I was raised to know the following: a shopping cart is actually a buggy, a toboggan is not a sled but a hat that you wear on your head, commode is another word for toilet, every pop in the south is Coke (when they ask you what kind of Coke, you specify). Cherry lemon sundrop is the best carbonated beverage I've ever tasted. Sweet is the only way to drink tea. Cole slaw is in fact a great topping for a hot dog or hamburger. The saying "she's built like a brick shit house" is a compliment, not an insult. In the south, you get your pictures made, not taken. Over yonder is a direction. You're "full as a tick" after you've eaten a big meal. A purse is referred to as a pocketbook. 

I could go on and on. 

I've lived in Kansas in 26 years now and there are some things that will never leave me. I was raised southern, loud and proud. And I'm constantly scheming ways to get back east somehow, someday (Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina). With my family in tow of course. 

"I could be anywhere, in my heart I'll always be there, where they drink sweet tea and raise you to be polite, No changin' who I am, that's the way I've always been, no matter what state I'm in, I'm in a southern state of mind." 

Life's an Adventure

I'd like to think that deep down, I'm an adventure seeker and a risk taker. I often bombard Jacob with my crazy ideas. I mean, come on, who doesn't want to pack up their belongings and move across the country? Who cares about all the logical questions you should be asking? You know, like how are you going to find a job? Or where do you plan to live? Or what you're going to do when your thousands of miles away from your family and every comfort you've ever known? 

As I said, I'd like to think that I could describe myself that way. But when it all comes down to it, the mere thought of change sends a shiver down my spine. 

Let's take this week's happenings for example.... 

My husband and I constantly browse houses, cars, etc. For one, we always like to know what's out there (you never know what may catch your eye) and for two, we enjoy dreaming about what we'd do if we ever really were to strike it big (for those of you keeping score, our lotto tickets have yet to pan out for us). 

However, this last week, we happened to stumble across a piece of real estate that REALLY caught our eye. 

It presented itself to us as a house similar in size and layout to ours but also on some acreage. #winning 

So we stewed on it. We questioned it. We thought to ourselves, "maybe we should just inquire about it." So we did. It ended up not being quite the deal we had originally thought. The original house on the property had actually burned down. However, there was a garage which had been insulated and partially converted to living quarters. Heck, we could make this work! 

And here comes the twist.... 

I FREAKED out. Like full on, "we are crazy, why would we even think about this?" freaked out. We've lived in our house for two years. It's everything we've ever wanted (minus land), we've made it into a home for us and our two children. We've created endless memories with family and friends. I kept thinking, "why in the heck would we want to give this up and start from scratch?"

But, after days of contemplation and hesitation, we decided to go for it. The least we could do was take a look at the property. And if it was what we wanted and we felt like it was attainable, we'd take the next step. 

Tonight was the night. As we headed out to meet the real estate agent, my head was spinning with questions and scenarios. When we arrived at the property, we spoke with the Agent and wandered around the living quarters and land for a few moments. In my head, I was beginning to think "this could really be it. We could do this."

Plot twist. 

The property had three offers put in on it TODAY. And above the price range that we'd decided we'd be comfortable in. But here's the thing, we went for it. We put ourselves out there and we explored an option. And maybe this one didn't pan out. But maybe the next one will. 

Life is an adventure. I'd rather have a lifetime of "oh wells" than "what ifs?"

At the end of the day, Jacob and I have each other. We have our kids. We have a home and jobs that provide. 

But life is an adventure. 

Take the trip, make the call, eat the cake. 

Find your happy.

And make memories along the way.

Feelin' Fine at 29!

When we're younger, we always wanted to be "grown up" and our parents would always, always tell us, "slow down, enjoy these days, you'll be an adult in the blink of an eye." Back then, we never believed them. And now, as much as I hate to admit it, they were right. 

29 years have come and gone faster than I could have ever imagined. 

Yesterday, as I was going down the playhouse slide (for the 10th time), Brynlee on my lap, I couldn't keep from smiling. My view from the top of the slide is everything I've ever dreamed of. 

From there I was able to see my husband tinkering in the garage. A man that was placed in my life 12 years ago and has been a saving grace ever since. I was able to see my nearly 10 year old son, laying in the middle of the trampoline, singing his heart out to a song by Twenty One Pilots. A boy who wears his heart on his sleeve and loves with his whole heart. I was able to see my daughter's eyes light up and hear her little voice say "let's do it again Mommy," as we got to the bottom of the slide. I was able to see the house that Jacob and I initially joked about being our dream home, the one we worked so hard for, the one we are now able to call a home. I also saw the back porch, a gathering place many evenings for our family and friends. A porch that holds memories of conversations, cards games, laughter and tears. 

I'm blessed in many other ways as well. 

I have a group of friends that have been there for me through thick and thin. These people are my tribe. They're the people I reach out to when I'm hurting or upset. They're the people I laugh with. They're the people who know me (better than I know my self at times). They get me. 

I have an amazing work family. They make the normal 8 to 5 day more interesting and more fun. They're my therapists when I need an unbiased opinion regarding an issue. They're the comic relief when the times get busy and chaotic. 

And while I was initially having a hard time grasping that Monday marked the beginning of the final year in my twenties, I know it's going to be a good year, considering I only have 363 days to complete my "30 Before 30 List" (an update on that is below). So here's to a year of love and laughter. A year of adventure and chaos. A year of new things and new places. A year guaranteed to be one for the books.

30 Before 30

1. Start writing again, for me. To explore the possibilities of starting a blog and getting my thoughts out in hopes that it can help me find an outlet on days like today, to find my way back to something I am very passionate about and maybe, just maybe, help some other people through days like today.  I feel I can officially cross this one off my list as I have continued to work on this blog. It may not be as regularly as I'd like but hey, it's a start.

2. Get healthy. Eat better. Lose 15-25 pounds. (I am 8 pounds down from when I originally made this list). Be more active (I've been going to the gym for a solid 3 weeks now). This will always be a work in progress but that's okay. There is beauty in every step forward.

3. Be a better me. For myself, for Jacob, for our kids.

4. Take more pictures of us. Of our children. Of nature. Find beauty behind the lens.

5. Get another tattoo. An anchor? The kid's names? Both?

6. Partake in a paintball fight.

7. Find adventure. Try new things. Say yes more often.

8. Go on a random road trip with friends.

9. Travel to a new city or state. We have a family trip to Dauphin Island, AL in June. With only 51 days before we leave, the countdown is on! 

10. Play messy twister.

11. Become a "regular" somewhere. 

12. Learn to cook. I've screwed up hamburger helper for Pete's sake!

13. Start a new family tradition.

14. Know that it's okay to say how I feel. Holding it in doesn't provoke change.

15. Rekindle the romance and friendship with my husband. Times get tough. Sometimes giving up seems like the easiest thing to do but 11 years is too far to come to just walk away. I feel Jacob & I have both made steps forward in this category. He is my best friend. He always makes me laugh (even when I'm trying really hard not to). He calls me on my crap. And at the end of the day, we have each other and we're working to be the best versions of ourselves for each other and our kids. 

16. Go to a Chase Rice concert. 

17. Worry less. It's okay to go a day without makeup or the perfect hair. And lazy Sundays are and should be a thing. I've definitely been embracing the exhilaration of not having to get all dolled up on the weekends.

18. Finally watch the Lord of the Rings & Hobbit trilogies.

19. Find the prettiest waterfall in the state of Kansas.

20. Experience a drive in theater. 

21. Re-read the Harry Potter series & have a weekend marathon.

22. Continue to make more time for family.

23. Lear to let go. Of hurt and of anger.

24. Make time for myself.  The time between 5am & 6:15 am, Monday through Friday, that time is for me (even if I'm spending it sweating my butt off in the gym!)

25. Home improvement projects. Kitchen (done), wall decor, office area.

26. Explore the opportunities within an online course or certification. 

27. Find the best cheeseburger in the state of Kansas.

28. Read more. I've read some good ones so far this year. I've found a new favorite author, Kristin Hannah & really enjoyed and recommend "The Good, The Bad and the Grace of God" by Jep & Jessica Robertson.

29. Go to a musical.

30. Never back down. Go after my dreams.

An Autobiography

Slacking. I'm slacking again. It's been almost a month since I've last made a blog post. Today, I've decided to enlighten you readers with some facts about yours truly. Maybe you already knew some of these things and maybe you didn't. Be prepared to be amazed. 

1. I was born in North Carolina (where the majority of my mother's family still resides) and moved to Kansas shortly before I turned four. And while you can take the girl out of the south, you can't take the south out of the girl. I still call a shopping cart a buggy and a stocking hat a toboggan (I know, I know, I've heard a million times that a toboggan is a sled). I say y'all. I drink sweet tea. I love cole slaw on my hot dogs. 

2. I started babysitting at the age of nine. While I loved spending time with kids, I swore up and down that I'd never be married or have children of my own. My views have since changed.Obviously. 

3. As a kid and as a teenager, I used to be able to run, quickly. My brothers and I would race each other down the road we lived on at the time and I would win, a lot. Nowadays I couldn't outrun a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. 

4. I've previously made mention that I love to write. As a teenager, I had started writing a book, "The Adventures of Krimishi." I can't remember much about the story anymore except that the main character's name was Krimishi and she had magical powers. 

5. While Legends of the Fall remains one of my favorite movies to date, Tristan was not named after Brad Pitt's character in the movie (yes, I have been asked this on several occasions). In fact, I hadn't ever seen the movie until after he was born. 

6. I LOVE to sing. I was in choir until 8th grade. My favorite choir program was in 6th grade when we got to sing "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast. I sing everywhere. In the shower. In the car. During spin class. On the same note, while I love to sing, I never said I was actually any good at it. 

7. I am a Disney enthusiast. I have loved all things Disney for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I'd watch Beauty and the Beast and make sure to find a basket and fill it with books and prance around the living room singing along with the opening scene. I'd watch the Little Mermaid and push myself up on the coffee table as Ariel sang the last line of "Part of Your World." Disney karaoke? I'm your girl. 

8. I grew up going to a Baptist Church. I quit going when I was about 17. I've visited several churches off and on since then but haven't gone regularly. And I'll be honest, I've come to find that I really miss it. 

9. I have a gypsy spirit. I daydream constantly about packing up, moving to a new place and beginning a new adventure (with my family in tow of course). 

10. There have been several times in my life that I've thought about pursuing a career in nursing. Funny coming from the girl who used to be terrified of needles (and still gets a little woozy around them if I'm being honest). The urge was at an all time high after Brynlee was born. Seeing my baby girl in the NICU, being around the nurses and staff that became a second family at the time, I truly felt I'd like to give back to other families the way those people had given hope to us during our time of need. I still think about it from time to time. 

11. I absolutely despise the sound of fingernails being clipped. Is there a phobia that coordinates with that? If so, I definitely have it.

12. I talk to myself out loud frequently. 

13. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. But the jeans can easily be replaced with sweatpants or athletic shorts or workout pants. Basically, my style is very comfort driven.

14. I'd never gone camping until Jacob and I started dating, 12 years ago. It is now one of my favorite things to do! 

15. I'm a go with the flow girl. I feel like I'm on a consistent time crunch when I've scheduled my days full of activities. I'd rather just see which direction the wind happens to blow me in that day. 

16. I never thought I'd say this, ever. But going to the gym has become my outlet. I really feel like I've started the day off right when I know I just busted my butt in the gym.

17. I love the little moments in life. Unexpected visits. "I want to hold you," coming from my two year old because she's tired and needs a snuggle. The random facts my son spews on the daily (he's on his way to genius status). The way my husband can always make laugh, always. The smell of a new book. Simple nights sitting on the back porch, conversing the night away. 

And with that, I'm completing this post. Maybe this provided a little insight to what goes on in this pretty little head of mine. Maybe you got a chuckle and maybe not. But I figure, I've probably rambled on long enough for now. And I can't give away all my secrets can I?